Down & Dirty: Supernatural CLeaning Services (Book 6)

The show must go on...even when there's been a murder.

I'm Paige Harper and I'm still trying to get back on my feet after being kidnapped. When my housemate, Darron, offers me a gig cleaning at the theater where he's directing his first play, it seems like an easy job. Until the girl playing Titania falls to her death during rehearsal.

Of course, I'm gonna help Darron find the murderer. But somehow I also get roped into taking a part on stage too.

Even worse, Nico, the one-eyed PI werewolf, joins the cast as well - as my love interest. It's beyond awkward because I accidentally "claimed" Nico during our recent jaunt into Faerieland. And he claimed me back. This has created a sort of magical bond that's pushed the underlying simmer between us into a full boil. He can't keep his hands off me; and I want to claw the eyes out of every girl that looks at him.

And that includes his ex-girlfriend, Mavis. She's in town tracking down a lead on O.H.I.O. - the super-secret anti-supe organization that seems to be behind the Great Ghosting.

Jealousy, paranoia, sexual antics, a brainwashed zombie vampire, and all the drama of community theatre - both on stage and off - are going to make this my hardest case yet.

If I can't keep my head down - and my pants on - I'm afraid that this time it'll truly be curtains for me.

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Excerpt:

Chapter One

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Officer Esposito asks me as we stand before the prison. “You can back out. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, especially not him.”

“McGinnis said he wanted to see me,” I repeat. It’s the same excuse I’d used over and over in the car on the way here, and it hadn’t sounded that great then, either.

“Who cares what that son of a bitch wants?” she asks.

It’s a fair question, but the truth is that the man who I once thought of as a surrogate father—and who I later learned was the Vampire Serial Killer—is holding something over my head. “I don’t care what he wants,” I remind Esposito. “But you know what he said. If I don’t visit him, someone is going to die.” I sigh. “If you didn’t think he was being serious, you wouldn’t have bothered to tell me.”

She nods. “Yeah, but I sorta forget when I called that you’ve been…” She paused, clearly looking for a diplomatic way to say that I’ve spent the last six months hiding in my bedroom. The post-traumatic stress from being kidnapped and held in an underground bunker hit me hard and I needed a little break from the rest of the world. Now, though—partially thanks to my ex-husband and his idiocy—I’m back on my feet and no longer a total shut-in.

“It’s okay,” I assure her. “I’m doing better. I’ve got my Dalmanther back. I recently went on a day trip out of town—”

I don’t tell her that it was to Faerieland. Knowing Eva she’d be upset that I didn’t bring her along. She loves supes. And by love I mean she treats them like my mom did her old Beanie Baby collection—she wants one of each kind in her bedroom. Of course, my mom kept her small stuffed animals in little sealed plastic display boxes. Eva wants her toys out of the box, and they definitely don’t need to be preserved. They’re for one night’s play only.

“And,” I continue, trying to make my life sound normal, “when you called I was at a wedding reception.”

“Good for you, girl,” Eva says, giving my shoulder a little squeeze. “I’ve felt awful knowing what you’ve gone through. I should have known McGinnis was a psycho, I’ve dated enough of them. I feel like I failed you.”

“No. Eva. You didn’t,” I assure her. We met when Eva pulled me over for speeding, then we became friends. She got put on the VSK taskforce and helped find me when McGinnis kidnapped me. “He fooled everyone. I don’t blame you.”

She grimaces, unconvinced. If anything, I’m the one who put Eva in danger. She wasn’t on McGinnis’ radar until we became friends. At least when McGinnis was revealed to be the Vampire Serial Killer and finally caught, Eva got a lot of the credit and a huge promotion. I think she feels a bit guilty about that, but she shouldn’t.

“Are you...okay?” Eva asks as she walks me through security. We give up our cell phones and get a pat down from a bored looking guard.

“I’m nervous,” I tell her. “And anxious. And scared. Basically all the emotions that make you think you’re either going to vomit or shit yourself. But I spent months afraid of McGinnis. It’s time for me to face my fears.”

This is the same speech I gave myself most of my long sleepless night. I found out late last evening that McGinnis wanted to see me. ASAP. Personally, I would’ve preferred to have gone right then and gotten it over with. But prisons aren’t super flexible on things like visiting hours, so I had to wait until today.

I kind of suspected I’d have trouble sleeping, so I didn’t even bother going to bed. Instead I stayed up with my roommates Darron and Shauna, catching them up on all of my latest adventures. Darron eventually retired around 3am, but Shauna is half-vampire which means she doesn’t have to sleep. It’s one of the perks of being technically dead.

Eventually, Shauna went to do her morning meditations. It’s something she’s picked up since she stopped getting high off beauty, which is a thing her pixie half craves. That left me spending several hours alone with my pet Dalmanther and growing anxiety over this meeting with McGinnis.

I hate that he’s still in my head. I hate that even with him behind bars, I’m still afraid.

I know now, though, that hiding away won’t make it better. I gotta face my fears head on.

We’re escorted to a door and Eva whispers in my ear. “I’ll be right here,” she says. “Any sign you want out, I’ll be there. We’ll ditch this place and go get a few shots at a shifter bar. My treat.”

I offer her a small smile. “Damn straight, your treat. You’re making that head detective money now.”

She grins and gives my shoulder a squeeze. I pat her hand, then walk through the door. I need to do this on my own.

McGinnis sits on the other side of reinforced glass. Seeing him gives me a jolt, but I walk forward, grab the phone from the wall, and sit. I make a point to look him right in his eyes.

“Paige, daughter…”

“I am not your daughter,” I tell him tightly.

He laughs. “So rebellious. So spirited. I’d hoped you’d come to speak with me. I’ve been asking for you. What took you so long?”

“It hasn’t been high up on my to do list,” I tell him. He looks just the same; prison is treating him well. I half hoped he’d look tortured, or at least a little beat up. Aren’t ex-cops supposed to get it the worst in jail? Instead, McGinnis looks completely comfortable. Then again, he did choose to live his off-hours in a bunker in the ground, so maybe he is feeling totally fine here.

“I knew my threat would light a fire under you.” he tells me smugly.

“Were you lying?” I ask tightly.

“I wouldn’t lie to you, not now. Not after all we’ve been through together. You’re my daughter.”

I swallow hard. “Well, I see you’re still lying to yourself.”

He laughs lightly, like we’re back getting donuts at Dickies’ and I just told him about one of my wacky late night antics.

“You said someone I know would die if I didn’t come. So...I’m here.” I don’t know if the threat was genuine but McGinnis still has friends in O.H.I.O.—a shady society that I don’t know a whole heck of a lot about. Their acronym stands for the Order for Human Improvement Options, and they meddle in everything, with a lot of higher-ups pulling strings. But I’ve only scratched the surface of that mystery…and if I’m being honest, would be happy to leave well enough alone.

“Why am I here?” I ask.

“I wanted to see you. And I wanted to let you know that I’m a friendly pair of ears if you ever want to talk.”

“Talk about what? My life? My dreams? My future? Which, by the way you tried to take from me when you kidnapped me and set me up in your weirdo underground family bunker. I’m NOT your daughter, and you’re NOT my father. You are delusional!” I shout. I want to slam the phone down and storm off but something in McGinnis’ eyes makes me pause.

“You can ask me about anything,” he says.

Asshole. He knows he still has some power. I can spout at him all I want about him being a few chips short of a full bag, but he’s still holding the cards, especially if I want to know anything about a clandestine organization that has dealings with everything from supe experiments to….hell, they’re so under the radar that I don’t even know what else they’re up to, but if it’s their fault that skinny jeans finally went out of style, I wouldn’t be surprised.

All I know is, O.H.I.O. keeps popping up in my life and if I want to whack-a-mole that name out of my world, I should probably ask questions of the one person who might know, and who might talk to me.

“Fine. I want to ask you about O.H.I.O.,” I say. “And I want real answers. No psycho-babble.”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know if you’re ready for this talk. Maybe after you come back a few times.”

And there it is. “You want to make this what? A weekly visit? You’ll be Hannibal and I’ll be Clarice?” I ask. My dad loved The Silence of the Lambs, but it always freaked me out. It’s kind of funny, remembering when a movie was the scariest thing in my life.

McGinnis gets a knowing expression on his face. “Trust me when I tell you—you do not want to mess with them.”

“That does make things complicated,” I shoot back, hoping he didn’t see the frisson of fear that goes through me. “You started that sentence with trust me, and that’s kinda hard.”

“You must trust me on some level,” he shoots back. “Why else are you here?”

“You said that someone was in danger…” I breathe. I’m letting him run this conversation just like I let him run circles around me when I thought he was my friend. I’ve had enough. “I know about Kit,” I say, dropping the information like it’s a bomb.

His expression changes completely. Gone is the good-natured father figure facade. In its place is a narrow-eyed serial killer. “What do you know about Kit?”

“I know he’s alive...or as alive as vampires get. I know you took his “body” and gave it to O.H.I.O. who then gave him to Oberon like he wasn’t even a person, like he was just something to be owned and traded.”

“Vampires aren’t people,” he tells me flatly. “Don’t pursue this.”

I laugh hollowly. “It’s already done. We have Kit. I got him back.”

“Were you in Faerieland?” The father is back now, but it’s the darker side that I met a few times down in his Archie Bunker bunker. Anger-management-issues-Daddy is about to make an appearance. It brings back all the bad memories. I knot my hands together, reminding myself he can’t hurt me anymore. His eyes catch the movement, and they narrow.

“That’s the only possible way you could have gotten him. Do you have a death wish, Paige? I forbid you to ever return there. Do you know what kind of—” His face twists in disgust. “What kind of filthy sex acts take place there?”

“Yep,” I assure him. “I totally know.” I fan myself like I’m getting hot just remembering the depraved acts I want him to think I took part in. Although, of course, I didn’t do anything like that. The only fae I’ve ever slept with was my ex-husband and I didn’t even know he was fae at the time. Still, dealing with him was enough to turn me off the entire population of Faerieland. But McGinnis doesn’t know that. “They could teach the people at the sex cult a thing or two,” I add, just to tweak him a bit more.

I laugh in his face. And it feels good. Even better when he impotently slams his hand against the glass barrier. Yeah, that’s right, asshole. You can’t touch me now.

He collects himself. “So, you found the undead tool. Interesting. I can’t say that I’m thrilled. That was an unnecessary risk. I wanted to leave him dead. The only good vampire is one that’s burned to ash. But O.H.I.O. had other plans.”

“What did they do to him?” I ask. “How do we get the real Kit back?”

“Vampires are killing machines. Kit has massacred his fair share of innocents. That is the real him.”

“Hey now,” I say with a big shit-eating grin, knowing that my next words are gonna make McGinnis’s head explode. “Be careful what you say about my husband.”

Suck on that, fake Daddy.